I had the fortune of having the last week to spend with our #5.  The other kids were gone to dad’s and my wife had to be TDY for the week.  It was a luxurious week of low parenting demands, snacking, and relaxing.  We had a great time together but I thought I would capture the funny things before I forget them all.  (A few of these were gathered in the week or 2 before, but HAVE to be mentioned!)

• We were discussing how once he goes to preschool this fall he can’t be biting people anymore.  He would have to learn another way to handle his frustrations.  He replied, “My dad said that when I get frustrated and bite someone I should just walk away.”  Ummm….maybe got lost a bit in toddler translation?

 

“Mom wanna hear a joke?”

Me:  Sure

5:  CHICKEN!  BAAAAAAWWWWWWWKKKKKKK!!!!  (earsplittingly screamed).

5:  my dad taught me that one

Me:  I’ll be sure to thank him.

 

About 10 minutes after he came home last Sunday, he told me, “So dad said you would probably take me out for ice cream.”

So, of course we go get ice cream.  On our way home:

5:  Mom, when you were a little boy did you get ice cream?

Me:  No, I was never a little boy

5:  But why!?

5:  Will I have to go to the dentist after this?

Me:  No, we only go twice a year

5:  My dad goes a lot, even when he was little.  Before I was born.  When I was just in his eye.

 

5:  Mom can you paint my nails?

 

I told him it was time for a nap:

5:  How bout this?  I go in my bed at night and sleep.

Me:  um, how bout this?  You take a nap and go in your bed at night and sleep

(Check out who won that one.  Guess it’s unclear…)

 

 

Taking him to the bathroom at a restaurant:

5:  I have to poop!  (he yells)

Me:  OK let’s go

5:  There’s going to be a lot that comes out!  (He yells even louder)  It’s going to take me this many!  (Holds up 6 fingers)

 

One morning I was cooking us breakfast.  He found Windex I had left out from the night before and quickly became enthralled.  He started busily spraying the windows, and he came in the kitchen:

5:  how bout this?  (His latest phrase obviously).  You do the cooking and I do the cleaning!

 

Later that night in the bath:

5:  What’s this?

Me:  That’s your scrotum

5:  What’s inside?

Me:  Your testicles

5:  Oh, I thought it was my heart