Every parent can relate, I know. And, my kids are probably no different than other kids. But, one of the most fun parts of jumping into parenting a brood of five has been the number of wonderfully hilarious things I’ve heard from the children. Of course, they are funnier in context, so partly this list will serve as a reminder in the years to come when other fun things take up storage in our memory banks. I wish I could remember them all or that I had started keeping track sooner. I know I’ve missed some good ones. Still, here are my top 20:
20. #2: Did you know I pulled out 14 eyelashes in one day?
19. #5: Get to cookin’, Moppy!
18. #4: Shotgun! (after we announced it was dinner time)
17. #2: I used to date her. But, that was like 2 years ago. (he’s 10)
16. #2: How old is the oldest parrot? (us: laughing) No, I said PARROT! (us: we know)
15. #3: Dad is coming over for dinner as soon as he’s done time traveling. (she meant time trialing on his road bike)
14. #5: Dave! (when we asked what he wanted to name his elf on a shelf)
13. #1: Come on guys! This is easy! (when we tried to “help” him with fractions)
12. #2: How far could a person fall without dying?
11. #3: The boys are on the roof, again.
10. #3: This is where my mom and her mate sleep. (giving a new friend a tour of the house)
9. #4: (crying) I can’t find my yo-yo. (in the middle of the night)
8. #5: Dadin!! (anytime he sees the other kids’ dad)
7. #2: If you have twins, I think you have to dress them the same.
6. #3: This is where I keep all of my things. (on the floor next to her bed in a jumbled pile…like her dad…)
5. #4: I need to wear my new shoes to bed.
4. #3: No, but I think it would be weird if two guys got married. (after we asked if she thought it was strange that her mom wanted to marry another woman- we’ve got diversity training to do)
3. #2: I just have one more question before I go to bed. (pretty much every night)
2. #2: (sobbing) I never have any free time!
1. #1: They have been practicing this for hours! (during our wedding kiss)